(407): I’m not saying he’s gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
(541): I just fell off a roof. So I’m kinda chillin for a minute.
(320): God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier…
(843): My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
(727): hell no. last time, i couldn’t pee straight for a week.
(412): I’m about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
(218): There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
(402): That was so not worth putting pants on for.
(201): The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
(507): Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.